Lord I am going to be 30 soon and still single

I noticed that I am really apprehensive about turning 30 in a couple of months. The apprehension, I believe stems mostly from the fact that I am still single. Am sure my parents are worried too, but never say much to me about been single. I am not sure if the pressure I have put on myself is because I am African, a female and the first of four daughters, but I know that what makes it most difficult for me is the fact that I have not met any "potential" in a long time. 

Thus, I begin to wonder to myself and God, will I ever be found?

Don't get me wrong, I have many things I am looking to improve on or should I say looking forward to as I cross over to the next chapter in my life. But I have noticed that unlike in the past when I did not think much about my status or boys if they may be called so, I more often than not long for a man or rather a companion that we can walk this journey called life together.

I have tried many things to draw my focus on other things such as taking classes that will help me manage my finances more effectively, focused on my career, life goals and aspirations, but deep down I still feel some emptiness words cannot describe. 

I know that the good Lord has not brought me this far to leave me but I sure do feel alone. The feeling of not been complete gnaws at me each day and I am beginning to think that this is some type of obsession that is not of the Lord. But on the other hand, I also feel that God did not put this desire in me for nothing.

I am confident that God will work everything in my favor and that his plans for me are of good and not of evil and for an expected end. I have faith that I will not settle for less and by being a good girl that has "kept herself" to a certain extent--played around but never really followed through -- God will surely crown my wait with success and testimonies.

You can ask where do I get this confidence from? The answer is in my short walk on earth and with the way God has moved in my life in the past, one thing that God has consistently shown me in life is that he always saves the best for the last for me. I may not get what I want when I really wanted or thought I needed it, but some how God always shows up for me in his own time and makes everything better than I ever imagined.

I guess enough of this venting, I feel much better now and writing this has calmed me down again and built up my strength. 

Guess I am looking forward to the BIG 30 in the next couple of months and I hope to continue enjoying the life God has given me.

Where is the Love?

I have never been more distraught with what is going on around me as I have been during this 2012 election year.  As I listen to the news and try to process information being passed across, the question arises where is the love?

As a nation we are living in a time where American politics is getting more polarized by the day. Publicly elected officials whom are expected to protect their constituencies are so concerned with keeping up with party ideologies over the interests of the people they are called to serve.  I begin to wonder where is the time where selflessness was the norm of the day.  Where is the time when political parties could agree to disagree while ensuring the interests of the general populace and not only the rich are met?  As each day passes by I begin to gain an understanding of the society I live in.  A place where in all facets of life racism is still very prominent. The only difference between now and the 60's is that people are so sophisticated and covert in their biases that it is so difficult to pin-point why things are not progressing in society as they should.

On the religious facet, pastors across the country are riling up their congregation into not supporting the president based on his comments about believing in gay marriage.  The question as Christians should be what will Jesus do?  The Jesus I have learned about was more tolerant with the so-called "sinners" he lived among. ` I am not saying that Christians should accept the gay life style, which I don't as well.  In fact my gay friends are aware that I do not stand for the life style they have chosen, but I do not condemn them. Rather I just let them know my religious and biblical views and leave the rest to God in taking control.

Why has the Christian body decided upon themselves to fight God's battles for him and in essence turned themselves into a "vigilante" group that tramples on the rights and choices of others.  Even in the bible the Israelites were given a choice and according to the KJV bible, Joshua 24:15 states "if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living."

My thoughts on this is that as Christians we should show others love and compassion irrespective of what choices they have made. We are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of  God.  Remember in God's eyes there is no difference between a thief, a fornicator, a liar and an homosexual.  As such no one has  the right to question or judge the choices others have made except God (Note: This does not exclude having an opinion). We have to accept that we abound through the grace of God and God chooses whomever he pleases. Thus, none of us chose him rather he choose us.

On the issue of marriage, I do not dispute that a marriage is between a man and a woman.  However, there are certain basic obligations that a government has to its citizens irrespective of their ethnicity, race and sexual orientation among others.  The issue at hand is a civil right question and not really about questioning the institution of marriage. Why is it that a gay person cannot have access to their partners insurance, get the same tax benefits and other rights available to heterosexuals?

As a society I believe that we should be more tolerant in ensuring that every one has the same opportunities afforded to them as is the general populace. We should shy away from using religion or political ideology as a smoke screen of camouflaging our bias, prejudice or impose our beliefs on others.  The fact is if Jesus were here today he would disagree with the life style of gay people but the difference is that he would still have shown them love. Love is more touching to the spirit of a man than words can articulate.  The more we learn to walk in love in all aspects of life - ranging from politics to religion -  the better the world would be for others.

Remember according to the Bible in John 8:7 when the Israelites tried to stone to death the woman who was caught committing adultery, Jesus said "Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"  No one did.  We have all fallen short of his glory and it is only through his grace and never ending love that we are even eligible to stand in his presence.

I'll leave you all with this song by Black Eyed Peas titled "Where is the Love" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc.  I appreciate your comments and feedback.

Love,

Omo Bolaji

Are you Doing the Most?

So this is something I wrote and commented on somtime in 2009. I think it is still relevant out there and will like to hear more thoughts and comments on my views.

First of all what does it mean to be single, it means that you do not have a ring on your finger and if you do, you have not said I do.  Now to the main topic are you doing the most?

You are doing the most if any one of this applies to you:

1. He/She has the keys to your apartment
2. Putting things in each others name i.e, Letting him use your credit to get stuff or you are the cosigner on his/her car note or mortgage
3. Sex without condoms (personally I believe in abstinnece. "God help me with that"). PS: Before you ask someone to marry you or say yes, please ensure that you have your HIV test at hand, and I for one will sure have mine too.
4. Calling each other "My Boo.   He/She ain't yours till you get married. They can still have other options if they choose.
5. Playing house i.e Cleaning, cooking and doing his laundry for him everyday
6. Moving in together

Summary:

To the Ladies most especially, all the actions above sums up to giving someone else the opportunity to use you up.  In the Bible, Proverbs 4:23 states that  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  That is your heart is the gateway to many things in your life as such we have to ensure that we guard our heart's each day, communicate with the guy "we are talking to" and set appropriate boundaries from the start while ensuring that we stick to them.  That way we can be at ease that we are most likely not doing the most.

"Letting Go"

So this morning I was listening to Boyz II Men's "Pass You By" and it got me thinking about a conversation I had with a friend of mine recently about letting go.  In my young life I will say I have had approximately two serious relationships, one in my early 20s and another in my mid 20s. When I look back at my past relationships, I thank God I had the courage to let go of boyfriends that were verbally abusive or ones that were cheaters (in a relationship with you, but still emotionally attached to their baby mama on the side).

The truth is if you don't let a bad relationship go, you may just be letting real love pass you by. This is not only applicable to love, but also to all aspects of our lives.  The Bible says “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” When I look back at my relationship with my ex in college, I realized I truly dodged a bullet.  At the time it was hard for me to let go of a good looking intelligent brother, but when I think of some things he said to me like "What are you bringing to the table" after I just got my first job, I realize that he was very condescending and love had blinded my eyes to the fact that he didn't love me like I loved him. I was just never good enough for him. Mind you, I graduated from college with honors in Economics and Accounting, got a job with the #1 accounting firm in the world and instead of my boyfriend celebrating with me when I discussed my salary and offer with him, he just told me you know babe, "nowadays guys are very interested in what a girl brings to the table for them to be serious with her."  Abeg, ki la gbe ki le ju. What if I was a high school drop out, what would he have said to me, I can't even imagine!!!

When I look back at my life the Boyz II Men song resonates to me in every aspect i.e physically and emotionally.  I realize that when friends let you down over and over again, you have to reevaluate your stance with them and maybe move on to better ones. When you are so fed up with that job and you dread each day, then it is time for you to move on to the next call. When life seems very difficult, it is time to let go and be assured that there is always light at the end of every dark tunnel.  

That's my little schpill for the day, I welcome your comments and thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opZR1V31UYw&feature=youtu.be

A Job is Just a Job

I recently lost my job and I realized that the Lord has a lot in store for me to learn during this difficult  period of my life. I have had the opportunity to reflect on how I approached my job when I was working at the accounting firm PwC.  I realized that although I put my all into this job and my boss always use to tell me "You are really hardworking, but always remember it is just a job". That was pertinent advice that took me over 3 years to come to that understanding that at the end of the day "A job is just a job".

My outlook towards my career goals have evolved over time and as I continue to search for the next right job, I have a few tips that I will like to share:

1.  Always put my family and personal needs first
2. Always remember a job is just a job
3. Working smart in conjunction with hard work always pays off than working hard only
4. Strive to always build lasting relationships that will leave an impact on the people you work with
5. When you get to a point when you wake up in the morning and you don't feel like going to work for no sound reason, it time to rethink if you want to continue working for your employer
6. Never give up on yourself because if you stop believing in you, no one ever will

This is my two cents of the day. I welcome other comments for us workaholics out there!!!